Movie Reviews

Random Musings on The Next Generation

I think I’ve watched about the first two to three season of The Next Generation, but in the meantime, I’ve accumulated some thoughts about the show:

Data: Sex Robot?

That episode where Data plays at Sherlock Holmes is great. I love the twist at the end where Moriarty turns out not to be a mustache twirling villain, but a living being with agency who is desperately clinging to life. Such a great surprise. Moriarty rolls in going, “Can I live?”

Q is a giant prick. He’s basically omnipotent, but all he ever seems to do is pop in to the Enterprise to fuck with Picard and co. To be fair, though, if I were omnipotent, I’d probably just spend most of my time dicking people about.

Whoopi Goldberg as Guinan seems out of place in the show. She just kinda shows up at some point, and also happens to have some sort of death grudge with Q. I forget why.

Doctor Crush and Captain Picard have pretty good chemistry. It’s really weird how they get rid of Dr. Crusher in season two and replace her with that other doctor whose only purpose is to say, “Fuck you Data, you’re not human” and then disappear back into the sick bay. I guess she also shows up to fix broken bones or cure space cancer when crew members get sick.

Time’s Arrow is full of surprises. I love that scene where Data pulls out a newspaper and is surprised to see Whoop Goldberg on the front page. Also, that guy playing Mark Twain is a laugh riot.

Movie Reviews

Asian Connection is “The Shit”

The Asian Connection, a straight to DVD production. With a cast of Michael Jai White and Steven Seagal, among others. This movie is totally my shit.

“You’ve got to tell me where you got this money.”


*Like two minutes later*

“Bang me on this pile of money”



“You’re not a murderer, Jack.”

*Jack proceeds to kill like twenty cops*


The guy who plays Niran is funny as hell. He delivers all his lines with such panache.

“Fuck you, Jack”

“Give me the bag or I’ll shoot the bitch, Jack”


Steven Seagal playing the worst mob boss ever. He gets a cool bit where he pretends like he’s an investigator, which is really great. He’s like an incompetent version of his role in Machete.



Movie Reviews

Star Trek The Next Generation: The Inner Light Review

The Inner Light is one of my favorite episodes of The Next Generation. The basic premise is that Captain Picard gets hit with a magic beam by a passing drone. The beam renders him comatose, but in his coma, he dreams of a different life as a family man. Over the course of decades, he gets a chance to raise kids, participate in his community, and grow old with his wife. There’s one line by Picard: “I always believed that I didn’t need children to complete my life – now I couldn’t imagine life without them.” There’s a catch in all this – in Picard’s alternate life, he finds out that the planet he’s on is dying. He tries to fight it, but his people don’t have the technology to fix the world or leave. The only thing they can do is send out a vessel that contains the essence of their civilization. It turns out that the drone that zaps Picard in the beginning of the episode is  the only relic of a long dead planet. When it zapped him, he was sent to a VR simulation of that society. It let him experience life as the

Despite living his alternative life for decades, he awakes to find that only 25 minutes of real time have passed. This is something that really resonated with me – The idea of living out entire alternate lives in your dreams as a form of emotional regulation and therapy appeals to me tremendously. Even though we wake from our dreams, the emotions that we experience while asleep are tangible.  Dreams may not be real, but our feelings do exist. Are they invalidated because our experiences weren’t physical? I’d say no. This is something that we do with fiction in general – books, movies, and other media. We use media to generate emotional response; There’s no reason why we can’t explore the land of dreams to enact something similar. Anyways, great episode.