Recently, I’ve been setting my alarm clock earlier in an attempt to boost my productivity in the morning. I’ve been failing miserably. What happens is, I set up multiple alarms, and sleep through most of them. Well, that’s not entirely correct. I’ll wake up, check the time, and hit snooze until I really have to get up. I’ll wait until the last minute to wake up, where I have to rush to get changed and brush my teeth and catch my bus. The problem here is that I know I still have buffer before actually going to work, so I’ll put off waking until necessary. I hesitate to set only one alarm clock in the morning, because I know I’ll probably set the alarm to snooze anyways and then end up sleeping in. It’s an tough challenge for me.
While the point of setting these early alarms has failed, it has created an interesting unintended side effect – while I doze off, I stay in a weird waking dream state, not necessarily lucid, but in a state where I have a slightly increased level of consciousness about my dreams and I’ll generally remember them. I feel like this is a potential outlet for me to generate ideas and have more visceral experiences. I don’t know if this is super common, but I’ll generally feel like I’m more emotional in dreams. I’ll live different lives and feel as if these events actually happened to me. I’ve woken up multiple times tearing up and feeling melancholy from the sense of loss of my dreams. When I wake, it’s not just that sad things may have happened to me, but my dream lives are real experiences that have now ended with my waking. It’s like a second death. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I feel like the power of using your dreams as a staging ground for mental training and emotional regulation is an underexplored field of study.